nazgul guild

Kellogs, part of every morning breakfast! Well, didn't the raid get a full serve of breakfast with extra fruity bits?

I mean really, can you make up your mind what's going on here for a moment? One moment we got a big serve of emo all wandering about and lost, the next we got a sooper dooper serve of man cans. Yes, that's right. MAN CANS. Well, okay, not really man cans. Not even cans. More like a big serve of dragon. A really big angry serve of dragon. So yeah, nothing like man cans. I got some quick comments about what people think of the most important meal of the day.


Loura: Yeah I start the morning with a healthy dose of harden up sauce, and then scoff down some emo. Breakfast of champions!
Lightmaiden: I don't really eat much, but I am hanging out for Stridor's Coco Poops every morning.
Twisty: Poison gives me breakfast in bed every morning. It's double dipped. nom nom nom!
Dochop: That fucker wasn't a full meal! It was gemmed all wrong, had no idea. Fucking noob breakfast.
Crossout: Hey Fluffy, my ranged breakfast is better than your ranged breakfast. How about that?
Syx: I don't eat breakfast any more guys. Just want to say thanks for all the breakfasts we had together though. They were fun.
Ragnaar: .
Lukov: Well, I like this breakfast, but I have this other breakfast which I also like. Can I eat that one instead?
Stridor: Lightmaiden!! Stop it!
Cruelty: I ate that breakfast, and then I ate another one, and now I am pwning the face off this breakfast. You want to know more?
Tadg: Well, I try to make sure taht every breakfast is happy and enjoying its role. It's a hard and thankless task, but all breakfasts are equal.

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started with this ragtag raid
With plans barely laid.

The tank was a mighty burly man,
The healers brave and sure.
One raiding group set sail that day
For a three hour tour, a three hour tour.

The encounter started getting rough,
The raid was tossed about,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
They would've lost the bout, They would've lost the bout.

The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle
With Gilligan
The Skipper too,
The millionaire and his wife,
The movie star
The professor and Mary Ann,
Here on Illidan's Isle.


So this is the tale of the raiding group,
They're here for a long, long time,
They'll have to make the best of things,
Or live off slimey grime

The healy bear and the silly mage,
Will do their very best,
To make the others comfortable,
And not the least obsessed.

No cheats, no hacks, no whiney kids
Not a single cry-baby,
Like Robinson Crusoe,
As hardcore as can be.

So join us here each week my freinds,
You're sure to get a smile,
From this big old raiding bunch,
Here on Illidan's Isle.

You know, if a raid progressed much quicker, it might be labelled as a premature raid. Of course that would elad to lots of jokes about sticking things up your nose and so on - so we better steer clear of that sort of joke. But really, wowsa aren't these boys posting the numbers quickly? This time round, the Council was feeling the pointy end of the stick. Overall a fun, though intense and challenging fight, this now leaves only the Black Temple Numero Uno to go. Of course, who better to get a comment than another imaginary council.

Fluffy: Hi there Jedi Council, not to take up too much of your meeting time, I will get right into it. How about that Council?
Kit Fisto: An honorable and timely fight it was too.
Plo Koon: Yes, such moments are to be treasured both for their glory and good, and for the evil that they present.
Fluffy: Master Windu, any word from you? Hey, that sorta half rhymed!
Mace Windu: Never insult a man whose first name is that of a weapon.
Fluffy: Hey, some call a big Dick a weapon, and there are lots of insults to people named Dick... Hate the game, not the player!
Mace Windu: *Does Jedi Mind Trick*
Fluffy: Fluffy clearly has deep rooted intimacy problems and issues playing not only a female character but also naming Fluffy.
Fluffy: @_@
Fluffy: You fucker! You just Mind Trick'ed me!
Obi-Wan Kenobi: There is a disturbance in the force.
Yoda: Yes feel do it I very much puppy dog happy was once another episode make royalites feel sad now.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Sorry about Yoda, he got somewhat demented a few years ago, he has the mad cow you see. Poor little guy, has to even wear a nappy these days.
Fluffy: Ahhh, yes, I wasn't going to ask about that. You know the policy, don't ask, don't tell.
Yoda: Number two feel me happy again.
Fluffy: Ewwww, is that what I think it just was?
Mace Windu: *Does Jedi Mind Trick*
Yoda: Change bum from push to suck mode I did now yes. Number two no more in nappy!
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Mace! Did you just Mind Trick Yoda again becuase it's your turn to change his nappy? That's just wrong!
Fluffy: Yeah, with that note, I might just take my cue and shoot off now. Thanks for your time Jedi Council folks!
Mace Windu: *Does Jedi Mind Trick*
Fluffy: Or you know what, I might just hang about for a little more, I have this sudden urge to change nappies.

Well well well, everything was aligned just right. It was Mothers Day, the raid was up against Mother, and as logical as it is, this news is testament to the fact that well, Mother is now another notch in the belt of the raid. So, the obvious question is who do you talk to about such a thing? There are just so many obvious people, The Queen Mum, Mother Hubbard or Wolfmother to mention just a few. However, there was one flabby chest that is always reaching out to the young, one voice that is always ready to crone a note of advice, one gorgeous gorgeous creature with a fancy handbag, lovely glasses and just enough makeup on at all times.

Fluffy: So, Elton John, Sir, Ma'am - what do they call a person who has been knighted but isn't quite a "he" or "she" as such?
Elton: Elton is fine, now don't get this interview off on a bad note.
Fluffy: Righto Elton, wouldn't think of it darling. Lets get right to the point, how about those lads in their glorious SR machines?
Elton: Yes, it's certainly a sight to see, all that resistance. I mean, I once had this lovely set of dark glasses that put a lot of shadow resistance about the place, but never even close to think about doing what these lads just did.
Fluffy: Yeah, it's pretty impressive to say the least.
Elton: Sure is, all those hot muscled bodies getting all sweaty and exhausted.
Fluffy: Ummmm, yeah, not quite where I wanted to take this interview, likely not the image that most readers wanted in their heads.
Elton: Oh come on, I was just messing about. Those lads did great!
Fluffy: Yeah, it certainly has been a fast ride to the top for these guys.
Elton: Yeah, I like nothing more than a fast ride to the top on a bunch of guys.
Fluffy: Ewwww! Quit that shit out you tubby queen! Music or no music, that sort of picture is just wrong! There are kids that read this publication!
Elton: Really? Can I meet them?
Fluffy: Wow, I am stopping this right here and now! Get out of here you tubby quivering puddle of queen! Grats to the guys on the kill, and appologies for the queen on the post.

Don't you hate those bastards that just can't make up their minds? Happy one moment, crying the next, cheery then angry? Well, why not do as the Nazgul raid has done. Find the target, give em a quick left right combination and watch the sucker go down clutching at it. Then, if feeling in a really nasty mood, give em a few while they are on the ground. That'll teach the buggers to keep changing moods on ya! So, what's this all about? Well, the chaps have smashed up RoS of course, knocked the bugger over, done the minerals, blagged the loot - getting it? That's right, they did all that, and still came up smiling. Seeing as this was such a case of war and peace, who better to talk to than Russian author, Leo Tolstoy himself?

Fluffy: Hi there Mr Tolstoy, glad you could chat to us for a moment!
Tolstoy: Yeeees, we haves the time here to talk to you, the potatoes in the fields are not yet ready for pickings.
Fluffy: Ahhh, yes, those good old Russian potatoes eh? Meanwhile, how good was that raid kill?
Tolstoy: The raid kill was nothing but an empty moment in an anarchistic violent outburst of a group. Rationally speaking, there was little gained from such activity.
Fluffy: You sill old bollock you, you almost had me there. They got some really hawt loot at the end of it! I know that you are a pacifist, and that to you everything must be rationalized, but my dear Tolstoy... Lewts!
Tolstoy: Hmmmm.... In Russia, the raid loots you.
Fluffy: Why did I think that I was going to be the first to crack a "In Russia" joke...
Tolstoy: Perhaps you could be the first to publish a book of "In Russia" jokes?
Fluffy: That's not a bad idea... no, hang on, that's a terrible idea. Those jokes are only funny in the right context!
Tolstoy: In Russia, the context gets you!
Fluffy: Ahhhh! get away from me you crazy Russian hippie pacifist writer!
Tolstoy: *puffs on aristocratic pipe*